cover
skaters
Annihilating Annie
Pow Pow Panther
pyromantic
Baller Shot Caller
Rageaholic Rex
Barbwire Gordon
Shred-Her
Boondock Bates
Sookie Skankhouse
Carnivorous Licks
Stone Bitch Blues
CRAZY yinzer
Sydney Savage
elecTrix
Tackle Me Elmo
Freek-A-Rella
Trace Evidence
Holy-rolla
Zombitch
Hellon Skates
Icewolf
retired skaters
Iggy Cocks
Jess Business
Silent Fury
Juana Puff
Tsunami Tsue
Kitten Not Sumbittin'
Spontaneous Combustya
Kine Lee Killz
Funny Bunny
Krab Appel
Sloane Ranger
Lucy Luinatic
Blac Jaque
Soul Journer
bench coaches
Nauti SeaCups
Sgt Go Go
Dutchess of Torc-Her
Bear Lee Human
Chick Slayer
Derby Girl Killa
Lorele1 Roxi
Jamsterella
annette
Annihilating Annie #422
Position: Skater
Sign: Taurus.
Age: 26 (+7 shhh!).
Favorite Colors: Pink & black.
Favorite Band: Anything that makes my booty shake.
Likes: How about LOVE HELLO KITTY!
Dislikes: Ugly people (and I don't mean looks).
Quotes: C'est la vie
baller
Baller Shot Caller #143
Position: Jammer/ blocker
Sign: Leo
Age: 23
Favorite Colors: red, blue
Favorite Band: hip hop/rap/pop/ dance til you drop!!!
Likes: family, sports, showtime, FOOD, the beach, my derby girls!!
Dislikes: mean people, nasty food, Bad soap opera's, bad drivers!
Quotes: "If your from Africa... Why are you white?" - Mean girls"Toto I don't think were in Kansas anymore". - Wizard of Oz"I found a baby before... Where?Coffee bean" - Hangover
Barb
Barbwire Gordon #55
Position: Swinging in from the rooftops.
Sign: The Batsignal
Age: 23
Favorite Colors: All colors are pretty.
Likes: Slurpees, Bubbles, and masked crime fighting.
Dislikes: Being told I can't do something.
Quote: "I'm not stuck in here with you. YOU are stuck in here with ME."RORSCHACH - watchman
"some days you just can't get rid of a bomb" Batman"Yeah. I punched out Adolf Hitler 200 times." Steve Rogers
Important Fact: I may not have a soul, but get close enough and i'll steal yours.
Greatest Accomplishment: Being A nerd and proud.
Biggest Weakness: Bow Ties and Domino masks, what can I say their cool.
Boondock Bates
Boondock Bates #45
Sign: Taurus
Age: 53 types of guns were used in the Boondock Saints movie, subtract 23.
Favorite Colors: Gun Metal Grey, Clover Leaf Green
Likes: Handguns, Shotguns, Submachine Guns, Rifles, Rope, Punishing the Unjust, and Church
Dislikes: Liars, Cheaters, Murderers, and Russian Mobsters
Quote: "And Shepherds we shall be
For thee, my Lord, for thee.
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls shall it ever be.
In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti."
Greatest Accomplishment: Getting to skate with, and learn from the best of the best, Gold Coast vets!
Biggest Weakness: Weapons and Liquor
carnivorous licks
Carnivorous Licks #1114
Position: On Top
Sign: Do not enter.
Age: Evil never dies!
Favorite Colors: Black and purple.
Likes: Warm coffins, cows, old books, full moons...
Dislikes: The sun.
Quote: "Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent."
Important Fact: I will make fun of you, maybe not right away, but it will happen.
Greatest Accomplishment: Ending the curse of onychophagia.
Biggest Weakness: Bad temper.
michelle crazy
CRAZY yinzer #412
Position: skater
Skater: CRAZY YINZER #412
Sign: libra
Age: not tellin
Favorite Color: black and gold
Favorite Band: insane clown posse
Likes: skating, the beach, Pittsburgh Steelers, my pug Troy
Dislikes: snow, cold, the word soda
Quotes: " down with the clown till im dead in the ground"
"here we go steelers"
dutchess
Dutchess of Torch-Her #1900
Position: Very flexible.
Sign: No crossing.
Age: Old enough to know better, but young enough to not give a s***.
Likes: English bulldogs, drinking beer, mild violence, making others laugh.
Dislikes: Showoffs, no bar within walking distance.
Personal Quote: "Hey, it ain't gonna drink itself."
Important Fact: I will give you the shirt off my back, but don't expect it every night!
Greatest Accomplishment: Making it through the Bush administration.
Biggest Weaknesses: The week of Mardi Gras, followed by the week of St. Patrick's Day, followed by the week of Carnival.....
electrix
elecTrix #80
Position: Derby stance
Sign: Virgo
Age: 25
Favorite Colors: Grey
Likes: electric cars, clean code
Dislikes: head winds, slackers
Quote: "If there's a chance we'll break, I wanna smash into pieces." —Melanie C
Important Fact: I am a straight edge vegetarian and undercover badass
Greatest Accomplishment: Yet to be accomplished
Biggest Weakness: Procrastinating, chocolate and anything beautifully designed or on sale
freek
Freek-A-Rella #3024
Position: Just put me in coach!
Sign: I'm not signing anything without my attorney!
Age: Old enough to know better and young enough to still get away with it.
Fave Band: ABBA...I am the dancing queen.
Fave Color: Anything bedazzled!
Likes: Tutu's, glitter, trashy reality TV, any and all cheese, 80's anything.
Dislikes: Mushrooms...they stare at me, annoying girls, country music.
Quote: "If you ain't first, you're last!"
Important Facts: I giggle and clap when I knock b_%_s down...hahaha.
Greatest Accomplishments: Lil Freek 30 and Lil Freek 24.
Biggest weaknesses: 5" stilettos in patent leather with ankle straps...ooohhhh and CHEESE...did I mention that already?
Holy Rolla
Holy-Rolla 4given
Position: top
Sign: peace
Age: old enough to know better, too young to care
Favorite Colors: fushia and purple
Likes: Jesus, family,Derby, motorcyles and the beach
Dislikes: mean people
Quote: the truth will set you free, but it might piss you off first or this is why we cant have nice things
Important Fact: Jesus saves
Greatest Accomplishment: my children
Biggest Weakness: my amazing hubby
icewolf
Icewolf 889
Position: On all fours!
Sign: Full Moon
Age: 168....... in dog years that is
Favorite Color: Ice Blue
Band: Johnny Cash and the Tennesse 3
Likes: Long walks on the beach, frisbee and belly rubs.
Dislikes: Leash laws, blow darts, and empty food bowls.
Important fact: I never ate those stupid pigs!!!!
Quotes: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
Greatest Accomplishment: Finally caught my tail.
Biggest weakness: Slurpees and fruit snacks
iggy
Iggy Cocks #999
Position: Skater
Sign: Virgo
Age: 21
Favorite Colors: orange, yellow, grey
Favorite Band: defiance, ohio
Likes: backpacking, biking, hairy legs, happy trails and cocktails
Dislikes: when my butt hurts, other injures, vengeful people
Quotes: who me?
Jamsterella
Jamsterella #111
Position: In the Penalty Box
Sign: Aries
Age: 25
Favorite Colors: Pink and Blue
Likes: Oreos with moo moo milk
Dislikes: My Car
Quote: Huh???
Important Fact: I love wood floors
Greatest Accomplishment: Skating in the World Cup
Biggest weakness: A guy in a Big Truck
jess
Jess Business #17
Position: On top.
Sign: Libra.
Age: x=(5X2)+6+12+2-1.
Favorite Colors: Purple and orange.
Likes: No one.
Dislikes: Onions and Combustya's pads.
Quotes: "In regione caecorum rex est luscus", "Desiderius Erasmus", and "You are what you eat".
Important Fact: I have never drank beer, in my life!
Greatest Accomplishment: Taming a wildly temptress carnivore.
Biggest Weaknesses: BOGO and 2 for $5 or 3 for $10.
juana
Juana Puff #420
Favorite Bands: Lou Reed, Bowie, The Dead, Bob, Jimi, The Ramones, Sublime, Minor Threat, The Reverend, The Misfits, The Nerves, Rancid, IGGY, Gang of Four, PJ, Dr. Dre, The Wu, New Order, X, Slayer, Metallica, Armin,The Prodigy, Johnny Cash, Hank III
Likes: Skateboarding, dive bars, hanging with my dog, sunny days, and waves.
Dislikes:
Quote: "Hello America, I'm Juana Puff and I approve this message."
Important Fact:
Greatest Accomplishment: Survived 32 days in the desert with no food, no water, and no shoes.
kitten
Kitten Not Submittin' #9
Position: On your tail.
Sign: Virgo
Age: 29
Favorite Colors: Black and Blue.
Likes: Eating, sleeping, males of the uneutered variety.
Dislikes: Dirty litter box, fleas, stale catnip.
Quote: "Live Dangerously, carefully."
Important Facts: Super flexible, omnivore, petite yet buff, will try anything once.
Greatest Accomplishments: Earning my RD and going back to school for my PA.
Biggest Weakness: Not yet litter trained, easily fooled, not completely tame and will scratch.
kine
Kine Lee Killz #187
Position: pitcher
Sign: scorpio
Age: 27
Favorite Color: black
Favorite Bands: Yanni and The Misfits
Likes: High-speed collisions; critters; beer; cartoons;
hot girls, and books
Dislikes: Other teams' jammers
Quote: "Hey! Look what I can do!"
krab
Krab Appel #43
Position: speedbump
Sign: Do Not Touch -Willie
Age: Sharp Cheddar.
Favorite Colors: teal. neon.
Favorite Band: One that would let me play the cowbell in it.
Likes: relating everything in life to The Simpsons. And vodka.
Dislikes: The Man and the institutions and ideas that keep him in power. Meats.
Quote: "Perry! Perry! I got the blood lust..." -Walter, Home Movies
"Yes. I'm going to marry a carrot." -Lisa Simpson
Lorelei Roxi
Lorelei Roxi #626
Position: Skater-Blocker
Age:28
Sign: Cancer
Favorite Color: Red
Favorite Band: Just one band. :) How can anyone just choose one! Favorite right now is Chiodos.
Likes: Art, Piercings and of course Apples!!
Dislikes: Several things but I don't have time to list. Major dislike people who can't get my name right.
lucy
Lucy Liunatic #88
Position: Skater
Sign: Leo
Age: 27
Favorite Colors: Yellow and green
Favorite Band: Sublime
Likes: Roller Skates, Paint Brushes and Ice Cream.
Dislikes: boredom
Quotes: "Blessed are we who can make ourselves laugh for we never cease to be amused."
pow pow
Pow Pow Panther #49er
Position: Blocker
Sign: Leo
Age: 25
Favorite Colors: Black, Red and Gold
Likes: films, napping
Dislikes: Bossy people
Quote: My only fear of death is being reincarnated- Tupac Shakur
Important Fact: I'm allergic to chocolate
Greatest Accomplishment: Giving birth
Biggest Weakness: No comment
Pyro
Pyromantic #900
Position: Hot on your tail
Sign: Virgo
Age: 25 Favorite
Colors: red, orange, yellow
Likes: Fireworks, bonfires, matches, torches,
Dislikes: When people call me PyroMANIAC
Quote: "As a spark still I knew, I'd be lured be consumed / She a pyre incarnate, incinerate / An inferno turned to flesh" -Peter Steele
Important Fact: I'm a cat person
Greatest Accomplishment: Fire-walking
Biggest Weakness: Fire walking... a MISTAKE!
rageaholic rex
Rageaholic Rex #82proof
Sign: Rat.
Age: 26
Favorite Colors: Purple and Brown.
Favorite Bands: Belle & Sebastian, Modest Mouse, Bowie, Talking Heads, fabulous 80's new wave, "oldies", whoever plays those songs I like to dance to.....
Likes: Dancing, Jameson+Cherry Coke, kitties!, beefy 5-layers, popcorn, creating stuff.
Dislikes: When people spill their drinks in my shoe, balloons, driving.
Important Fact: I was born a unicorn.
Shred-her
Shred-Her #3
Position: Ninja Master of the Skate Clan
Favorite Colors: Purple, the color of royalty, as it befits me. Black, the color of the void that only I can fill. Red, as it flows from the lifeless bodies of my enemies!
Likes: Conquering the World
Dislikes: Ninja Turtles
silent fury
Silent Fury #23
Sign: Pisces.
Favorite Color: Red!
Favorite Music: Tegan and Sara, The Beatles, The Doors, some country, some blues and rock and roll.
Quotes: "Luck is when prepration meets opportunity".
Weakness: Food.
sloane
Sloane Ranger #6-shooter
Position: skater
Sign: Virgo
Age: thirty-something
Favorite Color: Bruise-colored
Favorite Band: Rolling Stones, Shooter Jennings, Sharon Jones & The
Dap Kings ... anything with funky bass line and a tight horn section
Likes: Abita beer, cowboy boots & victory
Dislikes: liars, cheaters and romantic comedies
Important Fact: I can fly a plane but I can’t drive stick!
Quotes: "Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on." –Henry Rollins
sookie skankhouse
Sookie Skankhouse #0neg
Age: none of your business
Fave color: black/red/gold
Likes: vamps, werewolves, and chocolate-covered derby girls!!
Dislikes: the penalty box
Quote: "anybody want a peanut?"
Important fact: real fairies don't need wings
Greatest accomplishment: a little boy named Linus
Biggest weakness: chocolate (with derby girls on top)
soul
SoulJourner #49
Position: Pitcher.
Sign: Libra.
Age: 22.
Favorite Color: Green.
Favorite Band: How? Fine…Coldplay.
Likes: Cheese. bubble tea, Haribo sour candy, dreams, anthropology, skates, John Keats, rainbows, mudras, all things infinite…
Dislikes: Traffic, burpies, bacon, rude people.
Quotes: “That’s for the fan to decide.”
Important Fact: I have two cats. Betty and Ani.
Greatest Accomplishments: Seven backhand springs in rapid succession. High grilled cheeses.
Biggest Weaknesses: Felt, velvet, all things of this texture.
spontaneous combustya
Spontaneous Combustya #800
Position: Smart Ass.
Sign: Aries.
Age: 29.
Favorite Band: Too many to name... cant choose just one!
Likes: Art, the Beach, to smell everything, Ladybugs, Music, CHEESE!
Dislikes: Washing my Pads! Spiders!
Quote: "It is terrible Doug!" -Mel from Flight of the Conchords
Biggest Weakness: Cheese. Very Hardheaded!
Important Fact: Dont assume that I hate you...I always look mad.
Greatest Accomplishment: Learning to reinvent myself.
stone bitch blues
Stone Bitch Blues #77
Position: Tight end.
Sign: Fire tiger.
Age: 24
Favorite Colors: I bleed red and black.
Favorite Band: Pick just 1? Probably Sublime or Ani Difranco.
Likes: Knocking bitches out, speeding away, writing poetry, making art.
Dislikes: Meat (the animal kind, seriously gross), wet jeans.
Quotes: "It's far better to die on your feet than live a life on your knees" -Emilio Zapata.
"The human race is an unfair and stupid competition. A lot of the runners don't even get decent sneakers or clean drinking water. Some people are born with a massive head start, every possible help along the way and still the referees seem to be on their side. It's not surprising some people have given up competing altogether and gone to sit in the grandstand, eat junk food and shout abuse. What we need in this race is a lot more streakers". -Banksy
Important Facts: My favorite dinosaur is a triceratops, and I want to be a fire truck when I grow up.
Greatest Accomplishment: Teaching 5 year olds everyday and remaining sane!
Biggest Weaknesses: my beautiful fiance...
sydney savage
Sydney Savage #24
Position: Surfer on Wheels
Sign: Cancer with a bit of good
Gemini
Age: near my number
Favorite Colors: stay Gold Pony Boy
Favorite Band: How about if the Knife and Le Tigre mated and birthed twins Phantogram and Crystal Castles
Likes: superheroes, passion, soul friends, natural highs, equal rights, life as art and art as life, last call when I’m working
Dislikes: man-o-wars, pretension when people hold my script, traffic, last call when I’m not working
Quotes:
“Then the world vanished, there was no self, no other. For an instant, I didn’t know where I ended and the wave began.” -Steven Kotler
“Southbound Union Square will be next.” -MTA
“Recognize others, be recognized; help others, be helped.”
Tackle me Elmo
Tackle Me Elmo #96
Im too busy being good at everything to fill out a profile... Nailed it!
Trace E
Trace Evidence #42
Positiouotes: Not low enough
Sign: "Free to good home"
Age: Older then I look
Favorite colors: Black, blue, purple, very specific shades of pink, space monster green.
Likes: Free cheese samples, puns, fancy beers, cats, clean slates, and undiscovered country.
Dislikes: PBR, vinyl sofa covers, college football, slugs, GPS systems, sub-80-degree temperatures.
Quotes: "Fate favors the fearless"
Important fact: Elephants are the only mammls that can't jump.
Greatest Accomplishment: Surviving catholic school with sanity relatively intact.
Biggest Weakness: what kind of weakness are we talking about here? My inability to resist ice cream, or my inability to do math or fold fitted sheets?
tsunami tsue
Tsunami Tsue #00
Position: Bench warmer.
Sign: Leo.
Age: 26...for the fifth year in a row!
Favorite Band: Metric.
Likes: The beach, red letter holidays, Guinness...
Dislikes: Traffic tickets.
Quote: "Geez Napoleon, just make yourself a dang quesadilla!"
Biggest Weakness: A sunny day and a potential to call in sick...
Important Fact: I am the oldest child of 11.....Yes 11.
Greatest Accomplishment: Being a Mom.
Hellon Skates
Hellon skates #14
Position: In front of the pack
Sign: Cancer
Age: Alot older then I look, but still young enough to kick ass
.
Favorite colors: Purple, black, and blue
likes: Ryan Reynolds, reading, and action movies.
Dislikes: Phony people, crowded elevators
Quotes: "Go for it!", "Dynamite comes in small package's"
Important Fact: I was born with skates on.
Greatest Accomplishment: My two daughters.
Biggest Weakness: Driving too fast, and Chocolate cake.
Zombitch #4
Zombitch #4
Zombitch #4
Zombitch #4
Position: Skater
Sign: Libra
Age: 13+
Favorite Colors: green
Favorite Band: Beatles
Likes: adventures
Dislikes: meaness
Quotes: live life as you would like to be remembered
bear
Bear Lee Human
Position: Bench Coach-Papa Bear.
Age: There were Velociraptors when I was a kid.
Colors: Daddy bear green and teal, in my left back pocket.
Favorite Bands: Ramones, Buzzcocks, Simple Minds, Peter Murphy, AC/DC, ABBA, the Clash, Echo and the Bunnymen, Enya, Erasure, Hoodo Gurus, Iggy Pop, Lords of the New Church, Ultravox, the Revillos, Roy Orbison, Sex Pistols, Ten Pole Tudor, and XTC.
Likes: Ropes, leather, cigars, whips, oops wrong kind of profile...I meant puppies, kitties, and rainbows.
Dislikes: People that do or say mean things to my derby family that I am not allowed to feed to the alligators.
Quotes: "If you can scream you are not choking." "Quit your sniveling."
reatest Accomplishment: Finding cub
Greatest Weakness: Pizza and /or sausage, peppers, and onions.
Inspiration: Suzy Hotrod’s Belly Button
Biggest Challenge: Teleportation
killa
Derby Girl Killa #19
Position: Bench Coach
Age: 27
Im too busy to worry about the other stuff!
sgt gogo
Sgt GoGo #M60
Position: On the front lines.
Sign: Capricorn.
Age: Age is not a number, it's a state of mind.
Favorite Bands: Sublime, AC/DC, Dido, Method Man, Bob Marley, Foo Fighters, Joan Jett, etc, etc...
Favorite Color: Camouflage.
Likes: Sushi, the beach, big guns, good men, fine wine, guacamole, the smell of napalm in the morning.
Dislikes: Cold weather, politics, traffic, cry babies, whiners, momma's boys, people who don't appreciate their freedom.
Quotes: "Veni, Vidi, Vici" - Julius Caesar, "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" -Ben Franklin, "Don't be tardy for the party" -Kim, "Do or do not, there is no try" -Yoda.
Important Facts: I do more before 08:00 then most people do all day.
Greatest Accomplishments: My family, my resolve.
Biggest Weaknesses: Swedish Fish, combat boots.
slayer
Chick Slayer #69
Position: Flexible, like Gumby. Sign: Proceed with Caution! Age: It's just a state of mind. Favorite Colors: Black, Blue and Red all over. Favorite Band: Anything I can shake my ass to. Likes: Beach, living in the fast lane, speeding, & heights. Dislikes: Slow drivers, annoying people, and stinky derby pads. Quotes: "Life is short, Break the rules!", "Love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile!" Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say "Are you gonna drink that?" Important Fact: I can't drive 55! Greatest Weaknesses: Kryptonite, good dancers, and ice cream.
